Suicide is an enigma as Camus so eloquently says in his book “The Myth Of Sisyphus”. It is something I ponder everyday and wonder if it might be the choice I am forced to make due to the many travails of this mess of a life. I have attempted suicide more times than I can count in a quite serious manner but have never been successful but very,very close. I want to record and share these happenings with what result? I am not sure…. I am hoping my failure may lead to someones success. Not a success in actually committing the act but maybe my stupidity and expressions of pain could ease one out of the act and into the knowledge that so many others are experiencing this disease called depression or the like. Remember that mental illness is a sickness just like cancer and it kills and eats away at us in a similar manner. I want to avoid sounding preachy and just get to the nitty gritty…. so here it is…..